The Wannabe Comics, er, I mean Pirates
This makes three “humor” strips in a row. I’m going to get a reputation as a grumpy reviewer who hates comics at this rate. I love comics, really! …just not these ones.
Okay, for our next dose of fourish-panels-in-a-row wish-I-were-in-the-newspaper-funnies strip, we get The Wannabe Pirates by Largent and McCrary. Mercifully, this comic follows a storyline. Unmercifully, it’s not much of a story. Captain Errol Flemm and Mister Sneeze are two pirates who know nothing about piracy. Or the way the world works. Sadly, these traits don’t help them stand out much from the supporting cast. It’s safe to say that real-world seafaring does not apply here. (A 300 gun frigate? Puh-leaze. That’s a bath-tub galleon if anything…certainly nothing that’d actually sail…) Which leaves the ZANY and no mercy on my soul.
Let me first be clear that this isn’t a bad comic. It’s just nothing special. We’ve got the pristine, clean, flashy Flash look that’s been gaining popularity ever since, uhm, I’ll say Penny Arcade. The work is varied enough to almost mask the copious amounts of cut and paste. I can read the comic without trouble, and while I have general animosity for the Comicpress layout, nothing unusual irks me about the website. Nothing at all special, which leaves the gimmick of incompetant pirates and “monkeys make everything funny.” Which, again, is…nothing special.
I can nitpick. It bothered me that the “French” pirate Cutthroat Jacques had an inconsistant accent. The beards have no shading, which looks really strange when the faces do. Occasionally, earrings would mysteriously vanish or change color. Now, why would I even notice minute details like this? Hint: I was booooored. I was so bored that I took several hour breaks between sets of ten pages. I was so bored that 87 pages seemed like forever (and I usually plow through several hundred page archives like it’s nothin’.) I was so bored I considered complaining to the boss. Stop making me read this stuff!
I’ll give it two stars because while I didn’t enjoy this comic, I know a few third-graders that would.
(For the record, the most guns a frigate ever carried was probably 60.) Rating: 
The Wannabe Pirates
http://thewannabepirates.com
by Largent & McCrary
review by Sly Eagle
(2 votes, average: 4.5 out of 5)
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September 5th, 2008 at 12:55 pm
Lady pirates would have been nice … in a non-patronising, not-at-all-superficial kind of way don’tcha think?
September 5th, 2008 at 2:12 pm
Yarr… I remember the scalawag Errol Flemm. A rather stuffed up lad, he was, coughin’ and harrumphin’ like he needed to clear his throat. Kept trying to sue that Errol Flynn feller for copyright infringement. Yarrr.
September 5th, 2008 at 4:47 pm
In today’s world, Mike me lad, there be no way ta make a female pirate what isn’t a non-patronising, superficial way, I be thinkin. In most cases, it be as painfully obvious as yer missin’ eye that they be there for ta keep th’ people who would complain about such things quiet.
Tis better, says I, ta stay away from such things.
September 5th, 2008 at 5:16 pm
An’ fer th’ record, I thought I was a harsh reviewer. Ye have me beat a mile, Sly Eagle, me hearty. I take me hat off ta ye.
September 6th, 2008 at 6:05 am
And as for the 300 gun frigate, I saw it more as an example of how silly or gullible this “Captain Errol” is, or even simple facetiousness, rather than an actual attempt to be factual ….
It is a comic, after all - after watching Superman push the entire planet by pushing on a mountain range once, nothing really surprises me any more.
But that’s just me ….I try not to worry about minutiae, as a general rule. For myself, I find that people too often label me as “nitpicky” or worse, and so any good points of my opinions get missed.
September 6th, 2008 at 9:28 am
Eagle, as The Doctor indicated, I wouldn’t put too much faith in a Used Ship dealer’s claims. Wouldn’t surprise me at all if that was just a facade put up by Charlie and there was a rowboat behind it.
Sorry you didn’t like the strip, but hope you’ll pass on the url to those 3rd graders! 
September 6th, 2008 at 9:30 am
Ahhgh! Another person saying I was right and I did ok! My reputation of Curmudgeon of the Year is RUINED! Ruined, I tell you!
(wanders off, sobbing)
September 6th, 2008 at 3:08 pm
Facetious frigates were pointed out mostly as an indicator as why I didn’t like the comic. Some girls go gaga over the latest pair of pumps. Me? Well, you’ll get the same sort of reaction from me when I see a book on medicine written in the 1700s. Authenticity is a big sell-point for me; or at least believability. Some people won’t care, so there they have it: they might like a comic I don’t. Granted, anything to do with piracy isn’t going to be authentic as 95% of all pirate iconography used today comes straight from Robert Louis Stevenson’s Treasure Island, which, my friends, was very much a work of fiction. Although the man got the sea-faring right.
For the record, Doctor, I don’t like Superman either. I may be nit-picky, but if I’m picking at nits it’s because all those little buggers are small, but they sting! Fleabites can detract from the experience, y’know? Although I expect that you’ll be getting your harsh reviewer title back with the next comic that I have already read twice and taken copious notes on. Time for some serious squeeage.
September 6th, 2008 at 3:50 pm
I’m sorry you don’t like Superman, though I should clarify that I, personally, liked the Superman of old - not the current “updated” one. I liked what he stood for and the principles he held, despite his incredible power. It was from a time when heroes were heroes, I guess I should say. I also like The Shadow, if that gives you any indication of the extremes
As for authenticity I look for it if it’s supposed to be historically accurate. When I watch an Errol Flynn movie, I don’t worry about the fact that he isn’t speaking in whatever century English, or that he’s Australian by birth instead of English (as in the UK) - my suspension of disbelief will go that far so I can enjoy it. If he suddenly pulled out an Uzi, though, or started using 20th century technology and principles, that would be a different story entirely. Same principle here - since it was “just” a comic, intended for humor, I let some things slide. But as I say many times - that’s just me
And I’m nit-picky, perhaps, but over different things. I try my best not to be,though, for the aforementioned reasons.