All right, youse mugs! Lissen up ’cause I don’t wanna haveta repeat myself! If you point yer peepers at any one woik dis year, make it The Night Owls. I’m not kiddin’ ya, ya joik - read it! ‘Dis comic hasta be onea th’ funniest I’ve laughed myself sick over in one night. I gotta tellya, though, my hopes fer dis comic bein’ good was about as low as the Titanic when I saw we hadta review it, but man, what a kick inna teeth I was in for! It was so good it hit me like a stiff belt’a Old Brown Wrapper, ya know whuddImean?

What’s dat? Whaddaya mean yer surprised I can read, ya lug? Why, I oughta….you keep dat stuff up an’ you’ll be meetin’ th’ business end of my meathooks, ya get me?

Da story is set back in th’ 1920’s - nah, I wasn’t there but my granny useta tell me stories about dem times. Reminds me of dat other woik I read once…what was it called? Somethin’ about bootleggin’ cats … oh yeah, Lackadaisy. Now DAT was anudder good woik, lemme tellya. Aww now I got ramblin’ again..where was I? Oh yeah - Night Owls. Da story is about some egghead an’ his crew, goin’ out and huntin’ down all dem nasty things what go bump in th’ night. Him and his crew end up chasin’ vampires, huntin’ ghosts an’ all dat, but widdout dem fancy things on their back an’ th’ traps an’ all dat that other ghost huntin’ group had. I gotta tell ya, da guy what writes dis stuff - he’s got one wild imagination! Story was great an’ kept me on the edgea my seat da whole time. No nasty stuff in it, no cussin’ or nothin’ that would make me tell da kiddies ta hustle off ta bed before I sat down ta read it, neither. My ma, God rest ‘er an’ good church goin’ lady dat she was, why even she’d read it an’ like it - an’ dat’s sayin’ somethin’! So nonea you mugs out dere wid kids haveta worry. You can let ‘em read it an’ it won’t be no woise dan readin’ somethin’ like The Shadow.

Da art was good, too. Now I considers meself ta be a right good educated joe, comin’ outta da thoid grade like I did an’ all, but I ain’t no art critic, see? I gotta tellya, though, da guy dat draws this does a real good job. I wouldn’ta minded seein’ some color, but ya know, bein’ in black an’ white like it is, it adds somethin’ ta th’ time it’s supposed ta be in. It was good widdout bein’ too complicated, but it wasn’t sloppy neither! Spartan, I think dem eggheads up at da univoisity would call it - just enough ta get da job done. Had good detail, though, and it was like readin’ one a’ them old time comics my granddad useta lemme see in th’ papers. I tellya, my hat’s off ta dis guy.

Ya know, though, ain’t no art inna woild gonna pull yer bacon outta da fire if yer characters ain’t woith a plugged nickel. Too many comics out dere dat look like the people is just cutouts - nothin’ to ‘em, and nothin’ dat would make ya believe dat they’d actually stay around each udder, let alone woik wid’ one another. Not so here, though, lemme tellya! Da characters in dis comic are top shelf, an’ I liked ‘em. Da egghead of da group, Baxter, is a good joe. (Reminds me ‘a myself, but I don’ liketa brag or nuttin…)Doesn’t go around beatin’ people in da head wid his smarts, an’ he ain’t too shabby when it comes to mixin’ it up wid da fists, too, ya know whuddImean? He’s got some guts to him, which is more den I can say for mosta th’ eggheads ya see in dese stories. Da frail what helps him, Mindy, has got one serious jab, and ain’t afraid a’ layin’ her mitts on some lug what needs it, neither. Whew! I wouldn’t wanta get on HER bad side, lemme tellya. Even though she’s tough, she’s still a lady, an’ dat makes a lotta difference, ya know? She’s nice ta be around, insteada bein’ one of them bitter types what goes around tryin’ ta knock every man down ta prove how tough she is. She’s one tough dame, and she knows it, so she doesn’t haveta keep provin’ it. She’s got brains, too! Right off da bat she gives a Mickey Finn ta dis vampire in strip #2! Dats a frail what’s got it on da bean! Da last guy in da group, Roscoe, is da local wiseguy and probably one’a them comic relief types. (He sounds kinda familiar, too, like he’s from da old neighborhood or sumthin’….) He adds a lotta comedy to da strip widdout bein’ hokey or onea them wiseguys dat you’d wanna drop a lug on ’cause he keeps flappin’ his yap and makin’ ya look like Mickey the Dunce in fronta yer friends. Da group woiks well, too. Dere a team, an’ no one’s tryin’ ta make da udder ones look like joiks. Dey watch each udder’s backs, too, which is always a good thing. Da author made sure ta give ya some backstory ta letcha know why they’re all together, which is a good move on his part, I say. Ties up all them loose ends.

Well, I ain’t got all day ta sit here, chewin’ th’ rag wid you mugs - take my woid for it an’ check it out. I tellya, if I could give dis woik 6 or 7 stars, I’d do it! I can’t though, so dey’ll haveta be glad wid’ 5. If ya check it out, you’ll be glad ya did, and if ya DON’T like it, well, ya better not let me catch wind of it, or I’ll come give ya da woiks, ya know what I’m sayin’? (gives you a soft chuck on the chin) Now gedoudda here. I got woik ta do!

Th’ Sawbones

Rating:

(6 votes, average: 5 out of 5)

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Ok, I’ll say it straight up front, so there are no misunderstandings -

I didn’t “get” this comic. What’s more, for my own reasons, I didn’t particularly like it, either.

I read it, and in some cases I re-read it, and can honestly say I didn’t crack a smile or find things that really made me laugh. Was it because the comic was horrible and I was constantly cringing? Not at all. On the contrary, the art was good (although to be fair it looked like a meeting between Walt Kelly’s Pogo and some of the cast from Bloom County - that kept throwing me off), and I didn’t see anything that would make me caution children or the overly-sensitive to not read it.

Still - I didn’t laugh. There’s usually three reasons for that not happening; (1) The humor is either terrible or sophomoric or (2) It’s extremely metaphorical or “in the know” kind of humor, or it’s (3) the same old, tired, “trying to be with it and socially relevant” humor that we’re buried in every day. I think, in this instance, it’s numbers 2 and 3. I’m not really an “in the know” kind of person when it comes to the current trends, etc., when you get right down to it. I also don’t like most of today’s political/sociological humor, namely because it’s overdone, overused, and at this point has become mostly trite, in my opinion. (Perfect example - the comic used with this post. Like we haven’t seen the “evil cops abusing black people” jokes about a thousand times? What’s the point? Or perhaps comic # 67 from April 21, 2008 - tried and true “loud, obese woman with cart full of high fat products” - one of them says “Pig” - that’s subtle, right? Let’s see, “Obesity in America” comic? Come on. Imagination, anyone?) The current line of strips is, apparently, making fun the foibles of being a “connoisseur” by having one of the characters become a “soda connoisseur.” Ok, perhaps a little funny, but after 3 and more strips, kind of drawn out.

Maybe I’m old fashioned, but does anyone else remember comics - even ones that spoke on social issues - using that little known trait of “subtlety” instead of the now used traits of “I’ll slam this RIGHT IN YOUR FACE so you can’t possibly miss my meaning,” coupled with “I’ll copy the same jokes/gags that most other comics of my ilk do, but I’ll change a word or two”? What kind of commentary must that be on the perceived education level of the readers?

Overall, not a bad comic, I guess - just kind of predictable and, for that reason dull, to me; definitely not one I’d re-read. If you’re a fan of that kind of humor, though, then I say in fairness, give it a read and make your own call.

The Doctor

Calamities of Nature, by Tony Piro

www.calamitiesofnature.com

Rating:

(2 votes, average: 3.5 out of 5)

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Yarr…

Ok, let’s cut to the chase, shall we? It’s talk like a pirate day and for some reason I’m fresh out of pirate talk, so I’ll give you the Reader’s Digest ™ version of my review.

I liked this comic. I really did. The concept was quite good and original, as was the art. The art actually reminded me of a lot of the old MAD magazines I used to read, to some exent, actually. The humor was good, too, and reminded me much of things like the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy in some aspects. Overall, I say a comic worth the read, to be sure.

What do you mean it’s too short? I’m not trying to impress people with my education or mastery of the English language, so belay that and let me get back to fixing my TARDIS, willya? Go read someone else’s post afore I keelhaul ye!

The Doctor … the definite article, you might say.

Here There By Pirates
by Gregory & Gregory
http://randompiratecomics.net/webpages/robots.htm

Rating:

(1 votes, average: 4 out of 5)

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I have a book on my shelf entitled The World According to Mister Rogers, and it’s a book I pull out and read over again every so often when I need to be reminded that the world is not all bad, and we really can try and be good to each other. I know you probably don’t believe me or are laughing, but that’s ok. I mention that book because one of the things that leaps out at me when I read it is how Mr. R would pour over his scripts saying “Simple is better. Simple is better.” It’s a page I’ll take for my reviews from this point on. Simple is better.

I realize, given the trends in comics and the awards that this particular one has achieved that I will be in the minority when I say that I simply didn’t care for this work. I call it a work because, unlike most comics out there, it’s obvious the artist put some thought and time into it to make it something special. It’s also necessary to say that I never was a fan of Mr. POE, either. He struck me much as a characterization I saw once of Frederic Chopin; after being introduced, the composer said (in a voice like Droopy) “I’m Frederic Chopin. I don’t like playing in public, I don’t like people, and I don’t like you.” I may be wrong, but so help me that’s what I think of when I read or read about Mr. Poe. It didn’t help here.

Anyway, back to the review; the reasons are pretty straightforward, I think. For one, the work was frightening, to me, to a degree. It was as though I was drawn into someone’s nightmare; into a world that made very little sense and where anything could happen, and I was trapped there. That’s disorienting to me. Also, I felt as I read it that we were looking into the parts of someone’s soul that really aren’t our business. To paraphrase a line from the movie The Shadow, I know what evil lurks in the hearts of men because I see it in myself. It’s something intensely private to me and I felt uncomfortable seeing what I perceived as some of that darkness/conflict laid out in the comic for us, the readers, to see in the characters. It was an invasion of privacy, from where I was standing, as though someone suddenly took all those things you keep hidden in the dark parts of your heart/mind/soul and put them out for display. Put me right off, so to speak. Some may not understand my reasoning, some will, and I’m all right with that. On the art side of things, the artwork itself seemed a bit hurried - I kept wanting to reach in and erase the squiggly lines to add some more defined ones. The pace of the comic was hard for me to go with as well, akin to being swept along from one shock to another in a very swift river’s current. All in all, not my style.

Having said that, though, does that mean I think it’s a bad comic? I can’t really say that. It wasn’t my kind of comic, and I didn’t really care for it. Aside from the more dark aspects of it, I didn’t really see anything that would make me want to warn people off. Is it a comic I would recommend to others? Not if you were very young or prone to depressive episodes. I do feel, though, that most people would need to read it on their own, and make their own call.

For me, I give it 2 stars. Rating:

The Surreal Adventures of Edgar Allan Poo
Updates on Saturdays.
http://www.drunkduck.com/The_Surreal_Adventures_of_Edgar_Allan_Poo/index.php
by Dwight L Macpherson
art by Thomas Boatright
lettered by Thomas Mauer

reviewed by The Doctor

(7 votes, average: 2.86 out of 5)

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My dear ol’ mother used to tell me that when you can’t say anything nice about something, don’t say anything at all. However, as anyone who has read my reviews will tell you, that’s one piece of advice I didn’t exactly pick up on. I do, however, usually not say much about a subject when there really isn’t anything to say. Such is the case with this latest item for our review, Wannabe Pirates.

It was family friendly, which was a plus. The art was crisp and clean but seemed a bit stilted and, to be honest, I didn’t really laugh or smile a lot as a read it. Does that mean, however, it was a bad comic? Not at all. It just means that whatever it was that really strikes me as funny wasn’t there.

It’s definitely a comic that will appeal to some tastes and not to others, and so I encourage you to read it for yourself and see what you think.

For me, I give it 3 stars, if for no other reason than being a fairly unique (at least to me) concept, and for the positives noted above.

The Doctor

Rating:

The Wannabe Pirates
http://thewannabepirates.com
by Largent & McCrary

(3 votes, average: 2.33 out of 5)

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The original review for this comic was a bit more lengthy and went into detail as to why I simply didn’t like or enjoy this comic. That was, however, before I ran across the blogs (and you know who you are) in which the artists and fanboys of some of my other reviews are whining and moaning about how horrible my reviews are, how I’m an idiot because I don’t see things their way, and other assorted complaints of the “flame him for daring to express a negative view” variety. To them, I guess I don’t know what to say except “Tough darts, guys - don’t read my reviews, then.”

However, despite the risk of giving someone else’s fragile ego a boo-boo, The Doctor has rolled up his sleeves and written a new and improved review, complete with short words so no one strains their brain power. I’m sure after this one my write ups will go back to their old selves, so no worries.

I didn’t like the comic. The humor wasn’t of the type that makes me laugh, since I usually prefer gags and topics that haven’t been done to death as far as jokes go, or at least ones that aren’t so out there that you have to be in the know to get them. (The strip in which Jimmy calls various girls comes to mind; one is watching bees pollinate flowers and the other is sitting next to Bigfoot) I also felt the subject humor wasn’t original or even very imaginative, dealing mainly with the main character’s inability to deal with girlfriends, other friends or his own inept geekiness. Same basic formula as pretty much any recent sitcom, but this also had the main character cut from an Al Bundy (Married with Children) type mold, too. Some of the subject matter was a bit adult, too, and so I’d be cautious about letting kids read it. Therefore, I didn’t give the comic a high rating. I also know, however, that I am not God, and so I encourage you to take my review with a grain of salt and read the comic yourself, if you so choose.

Good place for a personal note as a reviewer, too, I think, on behalf of other reviewers: A review, unless done by a professional (which I am not, as I have stated many times) who critiques on a professional level and about professional points (such as use of color, shading, line work, etc.) is primarily an opinion. Since it is an opinion, it’s allowed to be different than those of other people. If you are the artist and don’t like it, then don’t create web comics and then ask review sites/people to review them. If you’re a rabid fanboy, accept the fact that others will have a different opinion and don’t waste time flaming them. You only make yourself look idiotic, and I suspect hurt the comic itself in the long run by driving people away.

I’ll step off my soap box now, and close by saying that hopefully none of what I have said will pertain to the creator of this web comic. I suspect that Mr. Purcell will shrug and say “Oh well…he didn’t like it,” and go on. At least, I am hoping he will. I would hate to think that my opinion bears such almighty weight that it would discourage someone from doing something they enjoy.

I give the comic one star. Rating:

The Doctor

Been Better
http://beenbettercomic.com
by James Purcell
(1 votes, average: 3 out of 5)

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